I've noticed that I haven't read and I haven't blogged much since I started this new adventure in my life. I don't know what that signifies, but what I've also noticed is that I have more drive now to do something with my life than I did before. So, I may not do the things that I told myself I would dedicate time to, but I am branching out in a new direction of moving forward. I guess it has to have a bitter-sweet meaning.
Days are too long and nights don't come easy. My stomach turns at the thought of "time" and "patience" but I know in the end this will make me a stronger person whether the ending is a fairy tale or a disappointment. It's taking all my strength all ready as it is, but clearly I can't give up; can't let go. I keep finding strength that I didn't know I had. Strength I never thought I was capable of possessing.
Music seems like my only friend. The only thing that understands how I'm feeling. Granted, I couldn't even begin to explain to someone the way that I'm feeling, but for the first time I don't know if I want someone to "get it". For the first time in a long time the feel of misery almost makes me feel alive. I feel alive in a sense and I think it's about time I kick back and enjoy it.